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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?